A Soliloquy : Corat-Coret

I thought I have been fairly dealt with a question, "When are you getting married?" in a way I contemplated, joined webinars, took small conversations with different friends, just making sure I was not alone feeling upset about it. I, once, whined a lot to the elders on how they keep asking the repetitive and unavoidable question, knowing I could not answer it properly because I just did not know how to give the understandable response? It drove me crazier when even my auntie, seemingly dissed me for being too picky on choosing a partner.

I totally understand that they care for me by giving me a projection that I should marry at a certain age because they have a reason: productive age. I got it, I totally did. Some hypotheses people gave to me: "You are too picky, you must open your heart, you bla bla," I could not deny it 100% right or wrong. It is just no man bravely asking me to live with him (Somehow I admit to being too harsh on man whom I Ignored because I simply did not like him or cutting the communication because of misunderstanding. I admit it, I was wrong and I want to change that). I even question myself, "Am I ugly? Am I stupid or annoying? Or even intimidating? Am I that bad?" Also, "Why do I always love someone who doesn't love me back?" You know, a sided love is frustrating.

Let's talk from heart to heart, Ros. Do you have a type of man? Hm, I have a dream of having a partner who is supporting my activity (e.g community because 50% of my life I spend on it), have a better position in a job (different workplace), can be a discussion partner in literally some topics, willing to be my workshop partner, and he can lead me to be better (e.g managing my emotion, selfless, etc). I have a couple crushes on which I wish, I could be like them. They're very compatible (well, Ros, of course a soulmate is compatible). No, I mean both of them are not overshadown another. Husband and wife support each other's work and activity, not filtering the house work by gender (e.g both cooking, cleaning, playing video games), and what I love the most is they join workshops (cooking and flower arrangement) or even play the kite flying together behind the Marina Barrage (I know the latter is too impossible). Is it too far fetched for me to even imagine it? Wait wait wait (me seemingly too excited to talk about this haha). I have always been dreaming to ask my partner to go to museum aka museum dates. This reminds me of my celebrush couple crush, Ayudia and Ditto, who always take Sekala to the museum whenever they go traveling. Also Dr. Syarief's characters, huhu I love it soooo much. Ok, enough Ros. Please know your fate and place, back to your sanity.

Huh, I feel so relieved to be able to share my dream partner. I only could wish and pray to Allah SWT. Whoever might come to ask me politely to build a family, how can I refuse? Well, everything will have their time, I hope mine and my brother's will come in the near period ;) Bismillah!

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CORONA LEWAT, BUMI ISTIRAHAT, MANUSIA SAMBAT

Corat-Coret 04.10

“It’s not about you, but it’s about us”

Perkataan Mas Yogi Pratama, seorang mahasiswa s3 di Italia di sesi Webinar kemarin, membuatku merinding. Bagaimana tidak, keadaan bumi sekarang ini seperti mimpi atau bisa dikatakan seperti sebuah plot dari novel Dan Brown. “Is it even real?” Kataku di setiap bangun. Tidak pernah aku merasakan kondisi ketakutan. Bukan, bukan bermaksud untuk melebih lebihkan. Hanya saja, pemberitaan di media dan update terkait issue Corona, benar benar membuatku tidak tenang. Setiap hari, kita disajikan data jumlah orang dalam pemantauan, pengawasan, terinfeksi positif corona, bahkan meninggal. Bayangkan membaca dan melihat berita duka setiap hari, aku yakin kalian juga merasakan hal yang sama. Takut.

Apakah manusia menjadi penakut hanya karena sebuah virus?

Why not? Kita manusia memang dibekali ketakutan. Bukankah itu adalah bagian dari Kotak Pandora? Mungkin bukan takut lebih tepatnya adalah terkejut. Manusia adalah makhluk bebas, yang bahkan banyak dari mereka mencerca agama sebagai sesuatu yang menghambat kebebasan mereka. Sekarang kebebasan mereka direnggut, bukan oleh agama, tapi oleh sebuah virus yang bahkan kita tidak bisa melihatnya dengan mata telanjang. Entahlah, tapi ini seolah olah menampar kesombongan manusia yang semakin hari semakin congkak. Apa hubungan antara corona dan congkaknya manusia?

Tidak ada hubungannya sih, cuma aku mau sambat. Lah kok sambat jadinya? Karena aku capek sama manusia. Setiap hari berita korupsi, pembunuhan, sibuk prank agar bisa trending, sexual harassment yang (mostly) diderita kaum hawa, ketidakadilan hukum, perampokan, diskriminasi, penipuan, bullying, dan lainnya. Wah, banyak sekali ya tingkahnya manusia. Ya semoga dengan cobaan ini, kita sekarang yang mengalami social distancing, bisa intropeksi diri dan menjadi manusia yang lebih baik. Amin. Tapi bener nggak sih sejak issue Corona ini, peristiwa kriminal menjadi berkurang? Palingan penipuan masker dan hand sanitizer (Pihak yang melakukan penipuan ini kok ya tega? Apakah perlu kita doakan sama sama untuk penipu ini agar kena Corona?). Selain itu, berita diisi dengan update korban Corona. Tukang bomb di Syiria lagi hibernasi. Sexual predator pun juga. Koruptor? Mereka tetep sih tapi yang dikorupsi masker sama hand sanitizer. Orang jahat sekarang takutnya sama corona, harusnya nih hukuman bagi mereka adalah diinfeksi corona.

Apa yang harus dilakukan sekarang?

Nurut sama pemerintah. Benar, kata Bintang Emon dengan videonya yang viral itu bahwa kita mempunyai peranan masing masing. Biarlah dokter yang menangani pasien corona, biarlah pemerintah membuat aturan/kebijakan, biarlah kita sebagai rakyat Indonesia at least be decent human untuk tidak memanfaatkan situasi duka ini demi kepentingan pribadi. Ayolah, tidak susah kok untuk menjadi rakyat yang nurut. Saran atau kritik boleh, asal tau tata caranya saja. Memang terkadang kita merasa Pemerintah kita kurang gercep atau seperti apa, aku setuju. Tapi aku yakin, mereka sekarang berbuat yang terbaik untuk bangsa ini. Kita juga harus membantu para pahlawan medis dengan cara tidak melakukan pembelian berlebihan karena panic buying untuk alat alat kesehatan yang mereka butuhkan. They need it MORE THAN us. Please, be decent human.

Social Distancing memang ngaruh?

Banget. Info dari Mas Yogi, kondisi Italia sekarang (lock down satu negara) ini dikarenakan rakyat Italia sendiri yang tidak patuh. Sudah diminta untuk tidak keluar rumah, malah liburan. Jadi inget sebuah video dari seorang remaja asal Amerika (?) yang bilang kena Corona atau tidak, yang penting mabok. Duh, sumpah ya pengen nabok rasanya. Lah kok Orang Amerika? Mohon maaf, saya tahunya video itu. Rakyat Italia baru nurut ke pemerintah, setelah Perdana Menteri Giuseppe Conte berpidato. Pidato beliau menyentuh rakyat Italia dan (akhirnya) mereka nurut. Sudah telat tapi tak apa, setidaknya ini jadi sebuah pelajaran berharga bagi kita semua. Please, cukup Italia saja yang mengalami kondisi menyedihkan dengan angka kematian tertinggi kedua setelah Cina dalam kurun waktu kurang dari 30 hari. Penyebaran virus ini sangat cepat, untuk itulah mengapa kita diminta untuk social distancing agar kita bisa stop penyebarannya.

Hal Positif?

Bumi istirahat. Biasanya mereka digali untuk penambangan, ditebang untuk merauk keuntungan, tiap hari dipaksa untuk menghirup zat kimia yang berbahaya. Sekarang? Manusia sedang istirahat dari kejahatannya, jadi bumi juga bisa istirahat. Alhamdulillah, dalam sejenak Bumi bisa merasakan ketenteraman. Manusia istirahat tapi sambat? Oh jelas, sobat sambat lagi bingung mau ngapain di rumah. Ketemu sobat nggak bisa, jalan jalan ke museum nggak bisa, event dibatalkan atau dimundurkan, kerja pun sudah mulai worf from home. Tapi tak apa, ini adalah langkah terbaik yang bisa dilakukan. Semoga setelah kita semua istirahat, kita menjadi makhluk yang lebih bijak dan melindungi bumi (yang memang sudah seharusnya). Yok bangkit yok.

Source gambar : http://www.schsa.org/PublicHealth/pages/corona-virus/

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RESOLUTION FOR 2020 AND HOW TO ACHIEVE IT

Corat-Coret 02.39

I do not know if writing this on a blog actually works as I have been doing since years ago but never got a real result. However, let's make it work this time (pointed at myself). My resolutions for 2020 and how to achieve it:

1. Read more. I read for like 11 books this year. I know it is less compared to the others. However, I am proud of myself. I want to read more in 2020 > 11 books, hopefully. I found some preloved English book accounts that sell various good books (I bought Frankly In Love and the Life Changing Magic of Tidying and those are in good condition). I may look up and buy from it again. Furthermore, I want to watch some booktube contents to give me insight into what books I should read.

2. Listen to Podcast/Islamic speech more. Before going to work or after subuh, I should play Inspigo or Podcast to enrich my knowledge on some certain topics, especially general knowledge, career wise, and Islamic topics.

3. Increase my English ability both in writing and speaking. I should rewrite a written post from some English blogs (at least twice in a week) and join Britzone class and Toastmaster meeting more (at least twice in a month).

4. Start learning Mandarin. I can learn from youtube and Duolingo. I should prepare my notes to focus on it.

5. Salat on time and read the Quran. It is so difficult but I will try my best.

6. Find ways to increase my income like writing on IDN or whatever (I am still thinking though).

7. Save more. I have to at least save 1 million IDR a month if there is no urgent need. I have to think more before purchasing something.

8. Tidy up. I must clean my room everyday and arrange my stuff orderly. Sunday is a maintenance day.

9. Go traveling. I want to try solo traveling. Hence, I have to save up more.

10. Start joining Yoga or something else like running or just dance or whatever as long as I can move my body.

I think that's enough. However, a thing I wish I can erase is rebahan (laying on bed for a long time) and playing Instagram. Let's not be a narcissistic person.

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LET IT BE THE OTHER’S

Corat-Coret 06.32

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REACHING AN AGE OF TWENTY SOMETHING

Corat-Coret 05.28

I do not know exactly how to define this golden age (Do people tend to say this, right?). I never thought for once this age would be a really mixed feeling, among happiness, sadness, loss, depression, and confusion. People are right when they say they have a mental breakdown and face a quarter life crisis phase at this age, in which I am today. According to Thorspecken (2005:121), the quarter life crisis is a period of stress, instability, and major life change. It happens when many young adults feel doubt about their future and feel like they are being trapped in their life choice. I do, people, I do.

It started when I graduated from college as a transformation between a silly teen to early adult becoming. A phase when I was still dependent on my parents to become a fully independent adult is not easy, especially when I just started off my career. I faced confusion, identity, frustration with the relationships (Let me broaden the word of relationship. I talk about the relationship in general, not specific in love terms, including a relationship with The Mighty God) and career, disappointment over something, insecurity towards the future. I was still thinking of “Do I really want this?”, “I could do better”, “I am in a mess”, “I am the worst” to “I hate myself”. It leads to creating self-blaming in me which is not a very good thing. Has this feeling disappeared yet? Of course not, until now, it is still lingering on me.

Last month on my birthday, I contemplated deeply about who I really am, and what I have done for the past years. All those thoughts about me could have been better if I did more is stressing me out. It got worse when I logged on Instagram, saw my friends' posts and IG story of them receiving a scholarship, traveling abroad, marrying, and having a good career while I was still struggling to even understand myself. It is unfair, my friends. Perhaps, it is enough reason for me to slowly leave Instagram for a better life (let me not exaggerate by saying “constantly leaving”. Going to return to share information which should be shared only). Living with jealousy is not healthy, and I do not want to suffer more.

This month is Eid, of course, we can not leave Eid without a killer question that I am religiously sure you all already knew without me mentioning it. Those people are not wrong though, we are. We are at fault if we think they are rude to ask that. It is just us who can not answer their question smartly in a sarcastic way. Pointed at myself, that’s me.

Every time I lay on my bed after working (Technically before taking a bath, stretching out my body for a second), I always think, literally I feel overly over thinking and let me not say about random stuff that pops out all of a sudden on my empty brain. I start questioning my purpose of life (when will I die; what happens to me after death? Is Julio's thought about nihilism would happen? *Julio is my Spanish friend who is willing to tell me about nihilism that I thought it does not make sense at all; Will I be in heaven after dying or my sins would drag me to hell?; Does God hate me because I create sins that much?). In a blink of an eye, my mind changes to “Why do my friends are so great? While me being a useless girl that whines too much on life because everything I do is creating a failure? Why am I this dumb? I could do better in life” et cetera, et cetera. Before it gets worse, I usually do something like watching a movie, listening to a podcast, listening to Islamic speech, or reading a blog/book. Currently, I am reading a book called “Filosofi Teras” by Henry Manampiring. Before, I finished a book by Isyana Artharini called “I am My Own Home” that mostly talked about a life crisis. I also read blogs from three different persons whom I adore, they write their own versions of being in twenty-something. Particularly, there are tonnes of people who proclaim this, not surprised though.

I hate being compared but I love doing something comparable between myself and my friends (Chef Renata's voice: That is not nice). I still remember when I was a kid, my parents tended to compare me with my cousins or friends at the same age. I hate it, right? But why do now I do this again? It is really hard to not say that we are happy with our friends’ achievement. I mean, one of the Bollywood films called “Three Idiots” said a very funny and relatable dialogue, “We are sad if our friends do not success but we are sadder if our friends are more successful,”

People of my age, out there, are struggling to face this difficulty as well, not only me, not only you. Some people have good luck, some people do not. Some people have access to travel around the world, some people have a hard time to even fulfill daily needs. Some people have a good career life, some people attend job fairs at every chance. Some people are getting married, some people are left behind for a creepy and lame excuse. Some people decide to leave a beloved country to fulfill their dreams, some people get hard permission to leave all the conformity she/he has. Everything is working in that way but for us, as a human has a large chance to improve our life's quality. The problem is just not all people successfully follow what they really want and get in this life.

I have not seen my future yet, I do not have an idea what would happen to me in two years, five years, 10 years? Will I still be an officer at work? Will I be able to go traveling again abroad? Will I be able to join the work camp again? Will I still cry over Tony’s death in Avengers? it is a joke, Pals. Will I be still alive because death is the closest thing upon us, isn't it? All those unanswered questions make me sick, somehow. I love hurting myself.

Last year, I made a commitment to myself that I have to love myself more by providing me time more, fewer worries attempting, minimalizing my time on Instagram (except Twitter because it gives me so many information, finds great mutual, and particularly gives me an entertainment), and allocating more time on reading something like novels, blogs, news, et cetera. The reasons why I want to leave Instagram the most is (though, I cannot be full on hiatus on it. I attempt to leave any sooner) is because it is a platform to show off (Actually it depends on the individual's mindset and the way we are operating it). It gives us, me actually, the anxiety of not feeling better than my friends' achievements that they show on Instagram. I read a good tweet a few days ago on Twitter that stated how Instagram can reduce all our happiness in a glance. Let me picture this: We are about to go to Bali in upcoming weeks, then we see our friend’s post that she/he will go traveling to Japan. All of a sudden, our excitement regarding our trip is vanishing. Why? Our humane side has a feeling of jealousy and tends to compare ourselves to others which (I already stated before) is not healthy. This feeling hits us, as a young adult in specific, really hard as we have a big ego.

One of the articles on The Jakarta Post posted in June (Title: Social Media linked to poor mental health in Indonesia, research finds) stated, "Social media highlighted the country’s high level of inequality, creating envy, and feeling resentment,”. In addition, Global Development Institute Researcher, Gindo Tampubolon said, “We would like to see public health officials think creatively about how to take a break from social media, or to be aware of the negative consequences it can have on mental health.” See?

We also love being someone that society sees is good, not someone who really wants to be. Society thinks working in a good company is more prestigious than having a small business. Society thinks a woman who marries a rich man is much better than a working woman. Society thinks an independent woman is intimidating (Is carrying a gallon by myself considered as independent?) Society thinks that women in their 20s should marry or they will be called “nggak laku” (not sure what it is in English, perhaps, not getting interested by men?). Society thinks people with bright skin and good posture is more interesting. The lists go on and on, endlessly. The combination of feeling anxiety and the pressure from society is a major source of unhappiness. No wonder, you can see many communities that are engaged with depression are all over on Instagram right now. Why? Because society is toxic and has a tendency to control our lives. That is not how things work, Buds. And of course, Instagram makes it worse. Read this quote that I found in my new book, “If you live according to what others think, you will never be rich” Seneca (Letters).

[In a wave of immediate anger. Take a deep breath, breath in, breath out]

All those feelings, somehow, changes as fast as Quick Silver’s speed when I am on motorcycle, seeing many people on their sweats after working, people who are preparing to sell foods, man in the middle of road guiding a traffic and he gets a coin, a granny (who is supposed to take rest and enjoy her time at home) who is still willingly to sell fruits, children who help their parents to sell food supplies, et cetera. Somehow, I read news about the injustice that occurs, the massacres in Palestine, Sudan, Syria, I feel really sad and ungrateful. My inner heart says “Look at the people over there, Dumbass, there many people who are suffering more than you. You get a job, no money problem, free bird, good health, good friends. Be thankful," Still remember Razan Al Najjar? I cried hearing her news that time, she is the definition of "Angelic woman". Imagine, there is a woman who sacrificed herself to help others while there is a girl who cries over herself because she feels miserable because she thinks her life sucks? Just, how bad I am.

Cannot you see it? My moods are so dynamic, I can be mad in a minute then get emotional in a minute later. It is safe to describe my life as floating because I step on the middle zone of two different feelings in no between. Yeah, that is me at twenty something. Moods are going up and down, feeling loneliness although, in reality, I have friends who always are ready to listen to my blabbering or parents who always call me to make sure I am OK. I am learning something that it is normal to feel that way because we are basically a human. We have the brain, heart, and senses to notice everything nearby. We do not feel bad to have jealousy on others because we high key want to feel better than the others. It is called basic human, my friends. After all, we always learn something after getting bad things, right? That is how we call experience and growing. My new mantra, ”God is not in a hurry. You are. It’s why you’re tired. It’s why you’re anxious, stressed, and disappointed. Trust that what was meant to yours, will be yours. Unrush yourself.”

It’s Ok. Sometimes I pat myself and ensure that I am doing good in this life. I can accept the reality of who I am, but it is just sometimes I feel I let my parents down. They once said they were proud of me, but I still think it was not enough. I could do so much better in my life. I am sorry, Mum and Dad. I am not a good kid.

[Spotify plays on shuffle]

Hey, Dad look at me

Think back and talk to me

Did I grow up according to plan?

And do you think I’m wasting my time

Doing things I want to do?

But it hurts when you disapproved all along

And now I try hard to make it

I just want to make you proud

I’m never gonna be good enough for

You can’t pretend that I’m alright

And you can’t change me

…………………………………

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INVISIBLE

Corat-Coret 07.02

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JALAN-JALAN SENDIRI ITU ASYIK

Corat-Coret 06.12

Assalamualaikum wr.wb.

Sudah lama sekali sepertinya sejak saya ngeblog (tidak juga, terakhir waktu post tentang workcamp). Tulisan ini adalah another random thought dan pengalaman. Salah satu keingian terbesar yang harus saya wujudkan sebelum menikah (Ceilah menikah, entah kapan) adalah melakukan solo traveling. Tidak perlu jauh-jauh, negara tetangga sudah cukup. Dikarenakan ketidaktersediaan waktu, hal ini sepertinya susah diwujudkan, mengingat pekerjaan baru yang sangat padat. Jadilah jalan-jalan mengelilingi Surabaya (Perbandingannya sungguh berbeda ya? Ya sudahlah). Mungkin untuk sebagian orang, jalan-jalan sendiri terasa aneh (?), terima kasih untuk teman-teman di Twitter yang terus mengcourage teman lainnya untuk berpikiran bahwa jalan-jalan sendiri itu menyenangkan dan bukan sesuatu yang memalukan atau membosankan. Kebetulan juga waktu itu hari efektif kerja, jadi tidak ada yang bisa diajak. Daripada tidak jadi, mending jalan-jalan sendirian. To be honest, saya banyak sekali belajar tentang filosofi hidup dari teman-teman Twitter (Ceileh filosofi hidup) di mana di mata masyarakat mungkin hal yang awam tapi sebenarnya hal tersebut sangat menyenangkan. Terima kasih mutuals saya di Twitter. Salah satunya ya ini, jalan-jalan sendirian. Apakah manfaatnya? Baca dulu pengalaman saya ini ya /insert emoji senyum.

Beberapa waktu lalu, saya memutuskan untuk mengunjungi House of Sampoerna dikarenakan HOS menyediakan city tour bus gratis. Sebagai kaum kismin, jika ada embel-embel “GRATIS” sungguh harus dimanfaatkan, benar tidak sobat kismin? HOS letaknya di Surabaya bagian utara, sedangkan kos saya ada di Surabaya bagian selatan. Ibaratnya ujung dengan ujung. GPS bersabda bahwa waktu tempuh kurang lebih 23 menit. Dengan keahlian dangkal menggunakan GPS secara audio (karena saya tidak punya alat di motor untuk hold HP yang biasanya dipakai oleh tukang ojek online) menggunakan earphone, tersesat sedikit dan harus putar balik beberapa kali merupakan hal biasa. Tidak heran jika waktu tempuh menjadi hampir satu jam, dan macet juga (mencoba menyalahkan macet, padahal di GPS juga sudah diperhitungkan). Ketika sampai di sana, city tour bus akan berangkat. Tidak ingin ketinggalan, langsung saya parkir motor dan berlari secepat smash petirnya si Kevin Sanjaya. Alhamdulillah, tidak ditinggal oleh bapak supirnya. Bedak pun harus luntur gegara lari di siang bolong (masih pagi lah hitungannya, tidak apa-apa lumayan untuk olahraga).

Penampilan city tour bus ini sangat eye catching, berwarna merah dengan beberapa gambar lucu. Di dalam bis, kami ditemani oleh tiga orang, yaitu bapak supir, mas pemandu tour, dan mas satu lagi yang jobdesc nya saya tidak tahu. Eh, mas ini yang bertugas sebagai temat mengumpulkan tour card (setiap peserta yang ikut city tour bus akan dikasih tour card). Suudzon sekali saya, maafkan Mas.

Rute awal adalah Tugu Pahlawan dan Gedung PTPN XI. Mas tour guide sangat andal dalam menjelaskan sejarah kota Surabaya. Entahlah mengapa, saya tiba-tiba tertarik ingin menjadi tour guide. Kira-kira bisa part time tidak ya menjadi tour guide? Di dalam city tour bus semuanya datang secara berkoloni yang artinya saya adalah manusia satu-satunya yang datang bersama bayangan saya sendiri. Setelah dijelaskan oleh mas tour guide, kami diberi waktu kurang lebih 15 menit untuk jalan-jalan di area Tugu Pahlawan atau sekadar foto-foto ala anak hitz IG. Dengan waktu hanya 15 menit, saya harus membatalkan keinginan untuk masuk museum Tugu Pahlawan. Bangunan makam pahlawan tak dikenal tiba-tiba mengingatkan saya dengan salah satu bangunan di Eropa. Beberapa hari lalu mbak Putri Komar bersama suaminya baru saja foto di bangunan berbentuk segitiga yang teretak di Prancis. Nama bangunannya adalah De Louvre Museum. Let’s just say ini versi mininya ya. Selesai berpanas-panasan di Tugu Pahlawan, kami meluncur menuju Gedung PTPN XI. Gedung ini menurut saya tidak terlalu wow seperti yang dikatakan oleh mas tour guide. Hanya saja warnanya yang mencolok yaitu coklat dengan ada aksen retaklah yang membuat bangunan ini cukup unik. Itu bukan aksen ya, memang bangunannya sengaja dibuat model retak ini karena dibangun secara terpisah. Fungsi utamanya adalah penahan gempa (untuk teknisnya, silakan bertanya ke anak Arsitek atau Teknik Sipil). Gedung PTPN X1 ini mempunyai banyak sekali pintu, mirip-mirip dengan lawang sewu dan di hall utamanya terdapat 11 (atau berapa ya? Entahlah, lupa) simbol berbagai kota di Indonesia.

Waktu menunjukkan pukul 11, saya pun memutuskan untuk masuk ke museum. Di HOS, museum utamanya terletak di sebelah kafe. Di dalam museum itu digambarkan sejarah pembangunan Sampoerna (merk rokok yang terkenal di Indonesia), mulai dari pendirinya sampai beberapa packaging yang digunakan. Oh iya, di dalam museum saya bertemu lagi dengan keluarga yang ikut city tour bus. Two thumbs up untuk orang tua yang mau mengajak anaknya pergi ke museum. Kalau sudah jadi orang tua, sayapun ingin mengenalkan museum ke anak sejak kecil (mulai ngaco lagi kan?). Tak hanya itu, saya juga bertemu dengan wanita paruh baya sendirian yang asyik membaca informasi tentang sejarah rokok di Indonesia. Di sebelah gedung museum rokok, ada gedung lagi yang berisi berbagai seni dari seluruh Indonesia. Misalnya kain dari Kalimantan, lirik dan nada lagu Indonesia Raya, foto-foto fenomena di Indonesia, bahkan ada foto pembukaan Asian Games 2018 kemarin. Menariklah pokoknya. Setelah puas, saya bingung antara ingin pulang atau ikut city tour bus yang kedua yaitu pukul 13.00. Daripada gabut di kos, hayuk ikut saja. Sembari menunggu, saya mengobrol dengan pasangan suami istri dari Surabaya yang juga mendaftar city tour bus untuk jam 13.00. Lalu datanglah seorang wanita paruh baya yang saya temui di museum tadi. Dengan sok kenalnya, saya mencoba bertanya apa yang ia lakukan di sini. Perkenalkan, namanya Tich, istri dari seorang guru di Perth, Auatralia. Ia sebenarnya datang ke Indonesia bersama suaminya untuk traveling tapi karena adalah masalah dengan passport suaminya, ia harus berangkat duluan ke Indonesia. Esok harinya suaminya baru sampai di Indonesia, Surabaya khususnya. Tich ini super baik dan asyik saja diajak mengobrol.

House of Sampoerna

Art Museum

Rute kedua adalah Klenteng dan museum Bank Mandiri. Di Klenteng ini seperti tipikal klenteng-klenteng pada umumnya. Ada patung Budha, Dewi Gwan In, smiling Budha, entah mengapa saya tidak melihat patung Sun Wokong alias Kera Sakti. Di Klenteng ini, kami berkenalan dengan Angus, wisatawan asing asal Scotlandia. Awal ketemunya lucu ketika saya dan Tich menunggu untuk memasuki bis dari pintu depan. Mas ketiga yang sempat saya suudzon lalu membuka pintu bagian belakang, kamipun segera masuk lewat pintu itu.

“Great, it’s like a shortcut,” kata Angus. Kami berdua pun mengangguk setuju. Iya, kami berkenalan hanya karena “jalan pintas/shorcut” yang sesungguhnya memang bis mempunyai dua pintu ya. Jadi bukan jalan pintas sebenarnya.

Ketika Angus memperkenalkan diri, pikiran saya tertuju ke masa lalu, tepatnya di SMA. Kala itu, satu kelas 10A sedang menonton film berjudul “Angus, Thongs, and the Perfect Snogging”, namanya mirip dengan salah satu judul film. Lalu kami mulai banyak mengobrol di museum Bank of Mandiri. Ternyata oh ternyata Angus dan Tich ini lahir di kota yang sama, di Scotlandia. Ya, kalian tahu kan jika orang bertemu dengan orang lain yang lahir di tempat sama, langsung connect, ibaratnya seperti raket Kevin yang putus di tengah pertandingan, dengan sigap dan tanpa aba-aba, koh Markus tahu bahwa Kevin akan mengambil raket di tengah pertandingan, sehingga ia harus kerja ekstra (sungguh pengandaian yang dipaksakan). Logat British keduanya pun muncul, saya yang listeningnya tingkat medium pun harus membutuhkan waktu untuk mencerna apa yang mereka bicarakan. Jika sudah tak mengerti, mau tak mau saya pura-pura mengerti dengan mengangguk-angguk. Logat British lebih susah didengar dari logat rustic ala Australia.

Selfie with Tich

Sun Wokong, dimanakah engkau?

Sama-sama kurang puas, kamipun mendaftar city tour bus untuk pemberangkatan jam 15.00. Sayangnya sudah penuh. Kami bertiga pun masuk ke waiting list.

“Where are you going next?” tanya Tich kapada saya dan Angus.

“I do not know”, jawab Angus.

“Do you want to wait until the last minute?” tanya Tich.

“I think no, the chance is so tiny. It seems impossible,” jawab saya.

Kami berdiskusi dan mereka bertanya tentang tempat wisata di Surabaya ke mbak Customer Servicenya (CS). Ya namanya keberuntungan, mbak CS bilang jika ada lima pembatalan. Kamipun langsung senang dan merasa beruntung. Sembari menunggu, kami pergi ke kafe dan sekadar minum.

“So, tell me what is your both connection?” Angus penasaran mengapa saya bisa kenal dengan Tich.

“We just met today,” jawab Tich.

“Yes, we met at the museum as well,” saya menambahkan.

Percakapan seru pun dimulai. Angus itu sangat lucu dan fun untuk diajak mengobrol. Antusiasmenya bercerita tentang Indonesia sungguh patut diacungi jempol. Kakaknya Angus beristrikan orang Jakarta, karena itulah ia sering ke Indonesia. Ia menunjukkan fotonya di Bromo, Ijen, Pulau Komodo, Bali Semarang, dll.

“You explored Indonesia more than me,” saya berkata sambil mengacunginya jempol.

Angus ini baru resign dari kerjanya, sekitar Bulan Mei. Ia memutuskan untuk traveling. Ia bertanya berapa lama liburan orang Indonesia. Ya saya jawab di weekend sama libur hari besar, maksimum seminggu waktu Idul Fitri. Terus, ia berbalik tanya. Intinya jika liburnya hanya seminggu, travelingnya bagaimana? Rasanya saya ingin menjawab “Percayalah Angus, kalaupun libur dua bulan, kami liburannya mentok pulang ke kampung halaman atau pergi ke propinsi lain. Kecuali kami bagian dari Crazy Rich Asian.” Pertanyaan sama yang pernah dilontarkan Paula dan Julio waktu workcamp. Lalu Tich bertanya kemana saja saya sudah traveling. Dengan PD saya menjawab Kamboja dan Arab. Padahal saya ke sana juga bukan untuk traveling, melainkan umroh dan ikut volunteering. Saya pun menceritakan pengalaman mengikuti workcamp di Borobudur. Percakapan pun berpindah topik ke politik dan entah kok bisa tiba-tiba sampai ke Donald Trump.

"What do you think about Donald Trump?" tanya Angus ke saya, ia penasaran bagaimana orang Indonesia melihat sisi Donald Trump.

"Hm... he is a joke (?)" jawab saya. Mereka berdua pun setuju dan tertawa. Entah mengapa kalau bicara tentang Donald Trump, saya tetiba ingat Julio yang mengatakan bahwa Donald Trump itu keren. I was like, "Dude, are you serious?" Ya sudahlah. Tak lama kemudian, kemi keluar dari kafe karena city tour bus mau berangkat.

Rute awal adalah Bank of Indonesia museum (saya lupa bahasa Belandanya). Ya hampir sama seperti museum bank Mandiri sebelumnya. Hal yang keren di sini adalah sistem CCTV tanpa kamera yang menggunakan sistem mirror. Kreatif sekali. Perjalanan selanjutnya adalah Kantor Pos Indonesia. Ketika masuk, saya teringat oleh model stasiun di Eropa. Bahkan Angus juga menyetujuinya. Ada yang tahu mengapa Kantor Pos Indonesia berwarna oranye? Karena dulu kantor pos di Indonesia dibangun oleh Belanda yang warna khasnya oranye. Dulu pemerintah Indonesia ingin menggantinya tapi karena jaman dulu masih banyak penduduk yang tidak bisa membaca, maka untuk bisa membedakan bangunan ya lewat warna. Begitu. Rute terakhir adalah Gereja Kepanjen. Sebenarnya saya tahu gereja ini dari dulu, hanya saja saya baru tahu kalau tempatnya dekat HOS. Gereja ini bergaya neo gothic ala Eropa. Tidak percaya? Saya post foto ini, teman-teman langsung bertanya apa saya berada di luar negeri. Desain interirornya juga tak kalah, juga bergaya Eropa. Di samping gereja terdapat Cave of Mariah yaitu untuk tempat pembaptisan.

Me, Tich, and Angus

Gereja Kepanjen

Kondisi di Dalam Gereja Kepanjen

Finally, selesai juga jalan-jalan sendirian yang tak jadi sendirian ini. Salah satu manfaat jalan-jalan sendirian adalah mendapat teman baru (kalau ingin berinisiatif untuk kenalan lebih dulu), yang pastinya dapat cerita baru juga. Dua orang ini menginspirasi saya untuk mewujudkan keinginan solo traveling, apalagi si Angus.

“Money is not that important as long as you get the experience of exploring the world,” Angus memotivasi saya untuk lebih giat menabung. Sebelumnya, Julio juga mengatakan hal yang sama dulu di workcamp. Angus kembali ke hotelnya menggunakan ojek online. Sebelum pergi, kami saling bertukar akun IG. Tich lalu memesan taksi, saya bertanya apakah dia tidak penasaran untuk naik motor.

“It’s too dangerous Rosa,” jawabnya.

“But you are not going to Asian unless you get on the motorcycle,” jawab saya mencoba meyakinkan. Karena tidak punya akun IG, Tich memberi saya kartu namanya agar bisa berkomunikasi lewat email. I was more than happy that day. From my view, ini adalah manfaat jalan-jalan sendiri :
1. Kita punya kuasa sepenuhnya untuk menentukan ke mana dan kapan kita akan pergi. Tidak perlu menunggu yang lain (self-scheduling).
2. Membuat kita lebih mandiri karena semua keputusan ada di tangan kita.
3. Dapat teman baru (kalau mau berinisiatif untuk berkenalan) dan tentunya cerita-cerita baru.

So, masih ada yang beranggapan bahwa jalan-jalan sendirian itu membosankan?

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STOP COMPARING AND START LIVING

Corat-Coret 01.58

I got an inspiration to write this from a blog that I just found out today. With the same title, I will write the version of mine. I am high key agree with the title. Human, almost most of them do feel this way. We tend to live by comparing ourselves to others about achievements, marriage age, successful definition, and such. I do, still do until now. However, it is exhausting to live by the haunted of others people live. These are the examples :

1. A is working in private company while B is working in National company. A is very jealous to the point she is very disappointed on herself. In the end, A feels depressed.

2. A is married at the age of 24 years old while B is still single. B got the burdens of society, especially family, with the same questions every day like “When will you get married? Where is your boyfriend? Still single in this economy?”

To be honest, I relate to those examples so much. Imagine log in to Instagram, see your friends’ feed about working in big company, winning competition, and even get married. How would you react? Happy? Of course for them, I am happy. Could not lie that I feel a tiny envy toward them. As you know, I am trying. Trying to look for another job. I applied almost every day but it resulted nothing but disappointment. Days ago, I was informed that I did not pass for a new work. I felt down, not having a willing to work, and wanted to go home. Sigh.

I read that blog and realized that comparing ourselves to others is stupid thing and exhausting. The only person who can compete with is our past, not other people. Let them live in their way and let me live in my own way. There is no exact rule about being successful, the age marriage, or other stigma. It is just us, human, who like labeling ourselves.

I promise to myself that I will live my life to the fullest. I will beat my own past and promise to be a better and reach my reasonable dreams some day. Amin. Before finish this up, let me write her quote on her blog, which is surprisingly I love so much.

“Ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving. Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live your very own best life. You are not in competition with anyone else. So focus on pushing to undo your past, not other people.”

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2018 RESOLUTIONS

Corat-Coret 02.19

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LOOKING BACK AT 2017 RESOLUTIONS, SELF-EVALUATION

Corat-Coret 02.10

Here is my 2017 resolutions, are they fully accomplished? Check it out:

1. Got a proper job? It did but the thing is I did not enjoy it all (?) I do not know why. I have to put “job that I fully enjoy” on the beginning, it should have.

2. Improve my religion knowledge? I did in the first half of 2017. I watched many Islamic speech videos, from Ust. Khalid, Noumal Ali Khan, Dr. Zakir, and many more. I was so curious. Unfortunately when I began to work, that time is slowly vanishing since I was too busy.

3. Reading books. It is totally failed. Hahahahahha. I just finished reading a book like 2 books only, compared to 2016, I was doomed.

4. Improving my English. Hm…. Not really fluent but I though my English is improving a bit.

5. Writing. Same with improving my religion knowledge. In the first half of the year, I kindly often write but then, I stopped.

However, I did quite good this year. Not so good (as someone who aren’t that passionate, I did well). There are plenty of “First’s” this year and it could be an amazing year if only the last two months are not fucked up. Here they are :

1. The first time to get a professional job after graduating in 2016

2. The first time to get accepted in International event

3. The first time to do International flight alone

4. The first time to fly over Cambodia

5. The first time to meet with Muslim tribe outside of Indonesia

6. The first time to win Give Away on Twitter

7. The first time to experience an Operation/surgery

Those are my little achievements so far. However, I am still grateful. The last point is tragic, weeks after landing from Cambodia my disease came out of nowhere and never thought it would end up in Operation Room. And I am still suffering until now. I HATE I HATE but it could be a reminder from Allah SWT that I must pay attention more on my body.

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A Soliloquy

NEW CHAPTER OF LIFE

A Type

CORONA LEWAT, BUMI ISTIRAHAT, MANUSIA SAMBAT

RESOLUTION FOR 2020 AND HOW TO ACHIEVE IT

LET IT BE THE OTHER’S

REACHING AN AGE OF TWENTY SOMETHING

INVISIBLE

JALAN-JALAN SENDIRI ITU ASYIK

STOP COMPARING AND START LIVING

2018 RESOLUTIONS

LOOKING BACK AT 2017 RESOLUTIONS, SELF-EVALUATION

Me in A Nutshell

My Daily

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