Failing Successfully
21.09
My day in the sun had arrived – my magnum opus would
be revealed. I had just delivered a memorized speech that I had labored over
for weeks, and I was about to learn how the panel judged my performance. The
polite but sparse audience leaned forward in their folding chairs. A hush fell
across the room. The drum rolled (in my mind, anyway).
The contest organizer announced the third-place
winner. Alas, the name was not mine. Then he read the second-place winner, and
once again it was not me. At last, the moment of truth came. Either I was
about to bask in the warmth of victory or rue the last several months spent
preparing. While neither of these came to pass, my heart felt closer to the
latter.
Losing is a part of life,
and I have dealt with the emotional baggage that travels shotgun with it on
more than one occasion. However, it was an indescribably underwhelming feeling
to drive 200 miles round trip, get up obscenely early on a freezing Saturday
morning, and yet still finish fourth out of four contestants. After Lincoln
lost the 1858 Illinois Senate race, he reportedly said, “I felt like the
12-year-old boy who stubbed his toe. I was too big to cry and it hurt too bad
to laugh.” Oh yeah, I could relate.
I had spent many hours in front of a computer
and in libraries doing research for the Lincoln Bicentennial Speech Contest. As
I pored over several biographies, one notion stood out: Lincoln was handed many
sound defeats, but he never allowed them to (permanently) hinder his spirit or ambition.
While I believe many history lessons can be applied to modern life, I hadn’t
considered “the agony of defeat” as a historically valuable learning
experience. I never dreamed I could relate to Lincoln! A president no less, and
the greatest at that. I thought “failing successfully” was a very appropriate
topic, given the many letdowns Lincoln experienced, and so this became the
title of my speech.
After not placing in the first year of the
speech contest, I really wanted to compete again. Lincoln had been the epitome
of persistence, so I was not going to give up on a contest about a historic
individual who did not give up! I reworked my speech for the following year,
and while I did not come in last, again I did not place. Some days you’re the dog,
and some days you’re the hydrant, and this was definitely a hydrant day that
brought me down for a while.
I couldn’t accept the fact that I had failed
twice in something that I had worked so hard on, until I contemplated the
individual whom I’d spent so much time learning about. Never mind the lost
prize money (ouch, major) and praise (ouch, minor) – I had learned, really
learned, about a great man who had experienced failure and disappointment, and
had many chances to give up. We remember Lincoln because he didn’t take this
route; he didn’t throw lavish pity-parties, and he persevered to become,
according to many, the greatest American president.
While I did not earn monetary awards as a result
of this contest, I did gain a new perspective. Through learning about Lincoln,
I discovered that I can fail successfully, and that it is possible to glean
applicable wisdom from the lives of those who have come before us. Now,
whenever I’m faced with a setback, I remember what Lincoln said after his
unsuccessful 1854 Senate race: “The path was worn and slippery. My foot slipped
from under me, knocking the other out of the way, but I recovered and said to
myself, ‘It’s a slip and not a fall.’”
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