I thought I have been fairly dealt with a question, "When are you getting married?" in a way I contemplated, joined webinars, took small conversations with different friends, just making sure I was not alone feeling upset about it. I, once, whined a lot to the elders on how they keep asking the repetitive and unavoidable question, knowing I could not answer it properly because I just did not know how to give the understandable response? It drove me crazier when even my auntie, seemingly dissed me for being too picky on choosing a partner.
I totally understand that they care for me by giving me a projection that I should marry at a certain age because they have a reason: productive age. I got it, I totally did. Some hypotheses people gave to me: "You are too picky, you must open your heart, you bla bla," I could not deny it 100% right or wrong. It is just no man bravely asking me to live with him (Somehow I admit to being too harsh on man whom I Ignored because I simply did not like him or cutting the communication because of misunderstanding. I admit it, I was wrong and I want to change that). I even question myself, "Am I ugly? Am I stupid or annoying? Or even intimidating? Am I that bad?" Also, "Why do I always love someone who doesn't love me back?" You know, a sided love is frustrating.
Let's talk from heart to heart, Ros. Do you have a type of man? Hm, I have a dream of having a partner who is supporting my activity (e.g community because 50% of my life I spend on it), have a better position in a job (different workplace), can be a discussion partner in literally some topics, willing to be my workshop partner, and he can lead me to be better (e.g managing my emotion, selfless, etc). I have a couple crushes on which I wish, I could be like them. They're very compatible (well, Ros, of course a soulmate is compatible). No, I mean both of them are not overshadown another. Husband and wife support each other's work and activity, not filtering the house work by gender (e.g both cooking, cleaning, playing video games), and what I love the most is they join workshops (cooking and flower arrangement) or even play the kite flying together behind the Marina Barrage (I know the latter is too impossible). Is it too far fetched for me to even imagine it? Wait wait wait (me seemingly too excited to talk about this haha). I have always been dreaming to ask my partner to go to museum aka museum dates. This reminds me of my celebrush couple crush, Ayudia and Ditto, who always take Sekala to the museum whenever they go traveling. Also Dr. Syarief's characters, huhu I love it soooo much. Ok, enough Ros. Please know your fate and place, back to your sanity.
Huh, I feel so relieved to be able to share my dream partner. I only could wish and pray to Allah SWT. Whoever might come to ask me politely to build a family, how can I refuse? Well, everything will have their time, I hope mine and my brother's will come in the near period ;) Bismillah!
